"The Rest of the Story" (Part 4)


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    Posted by Ballpark Frank (71.217.173.71) on February 27, 2007 at 12:15:59:

    In Reply to: "The Rest of the Story" (Part 3) posted by Ballpark Frank on February 27, 2007 at 11:46:37:

    At this point, Deadfall Darla has reached the edge of Nirvana. She is so excited that she is waving to the camera. Actually, Bison, I think she is waving at you.

    Here is where we get to the crux of this post. You are to blame for what happened next. It is you who got her all stirred up with your post on the chat page last week. It had been 4 months since she led us into the "edge of oblivion". I was thinking the passage of time might function as a suitable substitute for a Twelve Step program to ween her from the habit. But no, you had to reawaken the motivation.

    Notice that these photos were taken in the absence of sun. The clouds have overcome us; a metaphor for what is in the offing.

    Darla finds some moose tracks (deliberately not capitalized), and takes off following them over hill and dale through the deadfall and adjacent standing forest. AWW, for some perverted reason, goes uphill into the midst of the deadfall. (Could this malady really be contagious? What is wrong with you people?!)

    By the time I put away my camera and trundled on down there, Darla was nowhere in sight. I started following her, and the moose's, tracks. Initially, it was almost pleasant. This moose was obviously taking a practical, fairly easy route. I found a spot where my poles started striking ice beneath the snow. Hmmm, I was walking on a stream or small pond, hopefully well-frozen. After a bit, I actually found some open water. OK, maybe the moose was thirsty.

    Then, halfway into the forest, I made a fateful mistake. Darla's tracks went one direction and what appeared to be the moose tracks went another. Only later was I destined to discover that Darla stayed on the moose tracks, while I followed the tracks of some satanic elk, which led me into snowy mayhem. I found myself outside the standing forest and within a second burned forest on the north, or downhill side of this morass. I was paralleling some monster tree trunks that were enjoying a horizontal repose. These things were 30, 40, 50, or more feet long. Gradually, my path diverged more and more from Darla's. I knew that the plan was to find a good lunch spot, sheltered from the gale. Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm not one to miss lunch. I was being led into progressively deeper snow. My snowshoes were sinking down anywhere from 2 to 3 feet. Occasionally, I was more than waist deep in the fluffy stuff, trying to raise my snow-laden snowshoe to take one more torturous step. The one plus is that all the exertion was warming me right up!

    At some point, AWW appeared at the edge of the forest to my right. He seemed curious as to what I was doing. I thought to myself, "Frank you know what I'm doing. It's what we always do in this STUFF. I'm 'character building'." He moved off to the east and joined Darla for lunch. I continued on my character building journey, finding still deeper snow. I heard Frank's voice on my radio, which was buried under several layers of clothing. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but thought it was something like "hey, Ballpark, are you joining us for lunch? It sure is nice up here."

    Just as the snow was getting so deep I feared I might stumble on Jimmy Hoffa's final resting place, I reached the relative comfort of the vertical trees. My satanic elk had gone for a walkabout in the deadfall. He or she had led me on a U-shaped course through "Darla's playground". I had probably walked a couple hundred tortuous yards to cover what would have been 100 feet if I had gone straight across.

    Whatever malevolent spirit was having its way with me worked one final humiliation. As I was crossing a small snow bridge over a tiny creek to reach the lunch spot, part of it collapsed, and I hung the toe of a snowshoe on the side of the bank, resulting in a face first sprawl. My lunchmates watched in amazement.

    (Concluded in Part 5)


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